Stop ‘nesting’. Build a nest instead.
As pregnancy progresses, many mothers experience an overwhelming urge to prepare for baby’s arrival. Referred to as ‘nesting,’ this impulse often drives a frenzy of cleaning, organising, and shopping. But while these activities may feel productive, they may not be the best use of your time, money and energy. Instead of getting caught up scrubbing skirting boards or designing a picture-perfect nursery, I want to encourage you to think about nesting differently. Whether hormonally driven or culturally influenced, the real value of nesting is not a perfectly organised nursery or spotless house—it’s creating a space that nurtures and supports you during the fourth trimester.
The Nesting Urge: What It’s Really About
The nesting urge is a very real phenomenon for many mothers. Increases in the hormones prolactin and placental lactogen in late pregnancy are believed to drive this behavioural change. There are a number of theories about the biological purpose of nesting, but nobody knows for sure why so many mothers report this sometimes overwhelming compulsion to clean, sort, gather and shop.
I spoke to Kathryn Wilde, Hypnobirthing Educator and owner of Belly Birth & Bubs about how the nesting urge is linked to birth preparation. “It’s said that the urge to clean is your hormones’ way of keeping you active and in physical positions that encourage your baby into an optimal position, such as on all-fours,” Kathryn said.
Some research suggests the nesting urge is driven more by cultural and social expectations than hormones, suggesting that the way we talk about nesting primes women to clean and sort during late pregnancy. Or that if hormones are involved, it is likely adrenaline leading the charge, produced in response to general or pregnancy-related anxiety and stress.
Either way, this desire to urgently prepare for a baby’s arrival exists for most mothers, and it is my strong belief that pregnant people need to channel their energy during this precious time into avenues that are nurturing for mothers and prepare women for the intense and transformative experience of childbirth and postpartum.
“At its core, nesting is about taking control of your (and baby’s) environment.”
~ Nicole Jablonski, Healthline
Why you should build a nurturing environment, rather than a clean one.
Here’s the thing: your baby isn’t going to notice your spotless floors or designer baby gear. And they also won’t be running their fingers along the skirting boards to check for dust…until at least 7-12 months postpartum when they bust out the ‘Good Mums for Crawling Babies’ checklist & clipboard (jokes!). What baby—and you—will actually benefit from is a calm, supportive environment that allows for rest, healing, and connection.
The fourth trimester is a period of immense transition. You’ll be physically healing from pregnancy and childbirth, building your parental intuition, discovering your new self and identity as 'mum', and learning to breastfeed. Each of these is a monumental task in its own right, so it’s important to create an environment that supports you through this journey.
When you consider just how much is involved in this transformation, it becomes clear that creating a space that serves you—and makes your new role easier—is essential. A comfortable, practical, and nurturing environment will support your body’s natural healing processes and help you manage the demands of new motherhood.
“With the recent and increasing commodification of motherhood, there are lots of mixed messages about what you really need for your baby. What you will realise when you bring them home, is that all your baby really needs is you."
~ from Life After Birth, by Jessica Prescott & Vaughne Geary
How to Channel the Nesting Energy
When the urge to clean strikes, or to download another ‘must-have baby items’ list, pause and think: how can I direct this energy in a way that will serve me best during postpartum? For a comprehensive guide to building a postpartum nest, check out this post - 10 Steps to Building Your Postpartum Nest.
In the meantime, here are a few ideas for channelling nesting energy:
Focus on Comfort: Instead of aiming for picture-perfect spaces, prioritise comfort. What will make you feel relaxed and supported after the baby arrives? Ideally, you’ll spend the first week or two in bed, so make it cosy, visually calming, and practical.
Prepare for Healing: Stock your bedroom and/or living room with items that will aid your recovery. E.g. supportive seating with footrests, warm socks, and nipple gel.
Set Boundaries: Part of creating a nurturing environment involves setting emotional boundaries. Use this time to communicate your needs with loved ones—whether that’s limiting visitors or establishing a quiet time each day for rest.
Incorporate Restorative Elements: Bring in elements that restore your energy, like indoor plants, essential oils, or a favourite playlist. The goal is to create a cocoon of safety and warmth for both you and your baby.
“You'll be surprised by how much your baby doesn't need. Instead, spend your energy creating an environment that nurtures the mother”
~ Kathryn, Belly Birth & Bubs
The Long-Term Benefits of a Nurturing Space
Creating a nest isn’t just about the short-term benefits of rest and recovery. The environment you foster now can have long-lasting effects. Oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone," is key to this process. This hormone plays a crucial role in postpartum recovery, bonding with your baby, and breastfeeding. The conditions of your environment—both physical and emotional—can significantly boost or hinder oxytocin production.
And it’s not just oxytocin that can suffer from a stressful, unprotected, or unsupportive environment. Doctor Oscar Serrallach, in his must-read book The Postnatal Depletion Cure, shares an in-depth account of the many hormone and nutrient deficiencies and inefficiencies that occur quite frequently in postpartum women. He stresses the importance of a supported postpartum and a greater focus on mothers’ physical recovery after birth and throughout breastfeeding. Ideally, we should prevent depletion before it becomes a medical issue and begins affecting a woman’s capacity; not just her capacity to enjoy motherhood but even her ability to function in daily life.
“Many mothers don’t fully recover and remain in a depleted state. In this state everything becomes much more of a struggle, motivation drops and mothers experience much more “worry”, negative self talk ,overthinking and reduced self esteem can follow.”
In countless cultures, it is understood that a woman's experience of the fourth trimester will reverberate throughout her family, community, and for the rest of her life. By consciously building a nurturing environment, you are giving yourself permission to slow down, embrace the moment, and transition into motherhood with support and grace.
“After birth there’s a sacred window of time. A time for complete rejuvenation of a woman’s physical, mental and spiritual health. A time for deep, extended bonding with her newborn. The first 42 days after birth set the stage for her next 42 years.”
~ Ysha Oakes, Ayuvedic doula & postpartum educator
The nesting urge can feel powerful, and I believe it serves a purpose. But like many human urges or emotions, we have the choice in how we channel that energy. In a culture notorious for putting mothers last, it's no wonder women feel pressured to create a 'perfect' environment for their baby while neglecting their own needs. But I promise you, spring cleaning won't give you the fresh start you're hoping for when the baby finally arrives. Instead, spend time making your space inviting and lush, so you can't wait to cocoon for a few weeks — that's the real magic!
